I was so happy to hear this news that came out last week regarding the change of the One Child Policy in China. To be more accurate I should rephrase it to China has loosen it's policy on the One Child Policy. Perhaps it's my own excitement for personal reasons, or a feeling of sorrow for all of those couples that had to abort their 2nd child because of the old strict policy, I am glad mothers can finally have a say in having that second child.
This policy had existed since 1979 to keep the population in check, and
since then couples (not including ethnic minorities) in China could only
have one child or face high taxes. A lot of people try to get around this policy, some try to buy their way out, while others took their chances not having their child registered as their second kid. But many resorted to abortions and the use of contraceptives.
The emotional scars families goes through is very real in China. Some
people had to put their child in the adoption agency because they
couldn't afford to pay extra tax for the second child. In my case it happened In 1982 when I was born. My dad had wanted a boy, like most people back in the days so the boy can pass on the families last name. This was a old cultural belief that was imbedded in the Chinese society. At the time my mother wanted a girl, and she was reluctant to check the gender of the child, as his family would have pressured her to get an abortion if the child was a girl. So when I was born as a girl, his family wasn't happy. They want a boy to pass on the family name, and traditionally as a girl I would have been part of my husbands family, and not been able to pass on my own last name. Looking back now, that tradition was so outdated and placed it above hundreds of human lives that ended up in the orphanage. I could have ended that way, but my mother refused any other way than raising me herself.
I guess I could have been in the category of "Prince" and "Princesses" in China, if my parents didn't get divorced. That is a popular word to describe the result of been an only child in a large family of two parents and four grandparents. The gifts and attention these kids get is overwhelming, and so is the expectation of them to do well in school and in society. Being an only child, in a neighborhood where everyone has only one child, everyone relates to each other and their experiences. There are the good, and there are the bad. Every year there is always a number of suicide attempts in prominent universities all over China, and many succeeded in their attempt. The loose of their only child is devastating to these families, they had hopes and dreams for their child's 18+ years of their lives, and now because of pressure in school everything is gone. I have only experienced up to fourth grade in china, and the pressure to do well in school was already there. I can't imagine the pressure and mental stress to go all the way through high school and on to college/universities. It takes a strong person not to break down, it must require some type of coping mechanism to take the mind away from the pressure. I think that's why people in America think Chinese people are all smart, because majority of the Chinese that comes to America have gotten a higher education, and therefore knows how to cope with stress and keep pushing forward.
In America, being an only child is almost obsolete. I remember in my high school sociology class, the teacher asked us to group ourselves based on the number of siblings in our family, out of 20 students I was one of two that was a single child in their family. I know of only a handful of people that are a single child, and out of those people I was the only one that doesn't have any step sisters or brothers. I hope those single child in China will have the chance to experience the positive and negative parts to having a sibling: To play nicely, having to share clothing(in some cases), to learn how to get along, to fight fair, and to accept they are not the only prince/princess in their families eye. At least for now with this new policy the word "Aunt" and "Uncle" will not be totally lost in the Chinese dictionary, as I am sure also part of the reason why this policy was loosened up a bit.
For more information on this NEW loosened One Child Policy, go to http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/15/china-one-child-policy-abolish-labour-camps
Thanks for stopping by, thanks for reading my blog.
Jennifer Chan
Nice post, Jen. I enjoy hearing stories about your family and life and the Chinese Culture both then and now.
ReplyDeleteHave a good holiday.
Thanks Clare, have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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